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I,Mutoid USA
by Dana Shilling 07 Dec '01

07 Dec '01

For persons in the USA who want copies of I,Mutoid (and who wouldn't) but want to pay in US dollars, you can send a $12 check payable to Dana Shilling or to Cash to: Dana Shilling 41 Mercer Street Jersey City NJ 07302 and I will forward the order and convert the money and send it to Emma. (Ask Emma if you don't believe me--my interest in embezzlement is purely at second hand.) Dana

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Re: quotes
by Helen Krummenacker 07 Dec '01

07 Dec '01

Oh thank you! I had a bit of poor sound quality and never quite made out these lines. > AVON: There are a quarter of a million volts running through that > converter. I make one false move, I'll be so crisped up what's left of me > won't fit into a sandwich. > VILA: I'm a vegetarian. Thanks for the offer, though. >

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Re: [B7L] Re: Blake bashing v. Avon worship
by Ellynne G. 07 Dec '01

07 Dec '01

After thinking about this, it occurred to me there's one reason many of us side with Avon over Blake. Blake was gone for two years, during which time Avon became our main, POV character. We saw much of what happened through his eyes. By the time Blake shows up again, we are acutely aware of what's going on with Avon on this little trip down disaster lane even if we still have to debate what in the world Blake thought he was doing. Our emotions were already there. The justifications are afterthoughts. And, to be honest, I think Blake might have a teeny, tiny right to be a bit put out with anyone who thought he should apologize to Avon for making him shoot. Ellynne ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/.

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Adapted quotes
by Ellynne G. 07 Dec '01

07 Dec '01

I seem not to be too good at insults (and the good ones were taken). Instead, here are these. They're just quotes from other stories, but somehow (with minor changes) they seemed so B7. So, after Travis tells Servalan his latest, extremely complicated plan, this quote from James Schmitz- 'The black and silver [figure] studied him curiously. "Isn't that likely to be quite a while?" [Servalan] inquired--with such nice control that he almost overlooked the fact that this politically important [in]human hothead was getting angry again.' Or, from an author named Doris Egan- "An appeal for aesthetic judgement will get [Avon]'s attention where an appeal for mercy may leave him cold." Dickens also seemed to have met our heroes. "Who could have seen his . . . brilliant eye; his black-attired figure, idefinably grim, although well-knit and well- proportioned . . . but might have said he looked like a haunted man? Who could have observed his manner, taciturn, thoughtful, gloomy, shadowed by habitual reserve . . . but might mave said it was the manner of a haunted man?" As for Victor Hugo, who could have inspired this? "There are looks like flame that can only come from beings of a certain kind; tinted glasses cannot hide them; they are like a glimpse of Hell. "The visitor smiled." Ellynne ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/.

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Less vague review of "I, Mutoid"
by Betty Ragan 06 Dec '01

06 Dec '01

Penny Dreadful wrote: > Emma said there had been no reviews of "I, Mutoid" so far, Well, here's review number two, then! :) I, Mutoid (adult/gen mix?, UK, 2001, 87 pgs., ed: Emma) First, some general comments. This is a very minimalist zine, in that it contains no artwork, no fancy layout or creative use of fonts or anything like that. Emma, in her editorial, suggests that this "clean, sparse" look seems rather appropriate for a zine with mutoids as its theme, and I find that I have to agree with her. The bare-bones style definitely works. The zine does, however, have one utterly inspired stylistic touch: the black neoprene cover. Not only does it somehow capture the essence of mutoidness (mutoidity?), it's also tremendous fun. It's hard to resist touching, bending, smooshing, and otherwise playfully fiddling with the thing! Still on the editorial front, I did spot a number of typos (damned things get *everywhere*), but I'm given to understand that the only really serious problem (in which a sentence from one story accidentally appeared in the middle of another) was to be corrected before the first batch of non-trib zines goes out. So, no biggie. Do note, by the way, that while this is not an "adult" zine in the usual sense -- anyone looking for smut is bound to be disappointed -- it does feature violence, bad language, and frank depictions of sex. So if that sort of thing bothers you, you have been warned! On to the stories. "Awakening" by Nickey Barnard: This story (like a few others in this volume and at least one excellent story that's appeared elsewhere) latches onto a simple casting coincidence -- the appearance of Glynis Barber as a mutoid in "Project Avalon" -- and extrapolates from it the possibility that Soolin might have been a mutoid. To me, this idea does seem like a bit of a stretch, but Nickey Barnard handles it very, very well as she explores Soolin's emotions, her secrets, and her relationship with Avon. And that last line is a killer. "Relative Programming" by Ika features Ika's wonderful original character Space Commander Siv Holland, who will be familiar to anyone who's read her story "With/Out Blake" in "Trooper Orac's Fantastic Plastic Army," though it's most definitely not necessary to have read that one to appreciate this one. The story follows Siv and her Federation soldier buddies on a night out on the town, as they sit around drinking and discussing mutoids, Space Command, their careers, and a host of other topics. It's a wonderful look at the Federation from the inside, and I'm very much impressed by the way Ika manages to endow the conversation with all sorts of implications that the reader will find chilling even while the characters themselves are utterly oblivious to them. "The Best Laid Plans" by Jackie: It's a bit hard to discuss this one without giving away the plot, but it involves an elaborate plan set by Travis before "Star One." It's an interesting and creative idea, though I don't find this particular re-interpretation of canon works nearly as well for me as the Soolin-as-mutoid one, if only because I found at least one of the major plot elements a little too implausible. The writing's not quite as smooth as in the other stories, either; it relies too much on long chunks of exposition presented as internal monologue for my taste. I, do, however, very much like the scene of Travis dealing with the shipboard disaster mentioned in "Gambit," in which he comes across as very three-dimensional and rather surprisingly sympathetic. "An Eye for an Eye" by Executrix: A very nasty and *far* too plausible answer to the question of just who Kiera, the mutoid from "Duel," used to be. Short and punchy. "His Brother's Keeper" by Betty Ragan: I wrote this one, so I can hardly review it objectively... I'd certainly be interested in any comments, positive or negative, that anyone else might have, though. "Unmodified Needs" by Delmonica: A mutoid's-eye view of "Moloch," featuring a well-written look at a mutoid who remembers a bit more than she's supposed to, with a nice twist at the end. Just goes to show that you can get decent fanfic out of even the most mediocre episodes. "Interview with a Mutoid" by Steve Rogerson: A disturbingly familiar mutoid gives us an in-depth explanation of what it's like to have been Modified, what she can and can't still remember, and what she's still capable of feeling about it. Very good mutoid POV, nice angst, and a kicker of an ending. "Memory is an Encumbrance" by Julia Stamford: I'm not sure, but this may be my favorite story in the zine. When the Liberator crew captures a mutoid, they have to decide what to do with him... Leading to an examination of some very hard and provocative questions, like "Is there anything *worse* than being a mutoid?" "Kie-Eyre or Et Tu, Bronte?" by Executrix: Yes, it's B7 meets _Jane Eyre_, as we meet Space Captain Travis' new governess, and discover what deep, dark family secrets he's hiding... This probably would have worked better for me if I'd been familiar with the original, but the weird juxtaposition of genres is interesting in itself, in a bizarre sort of way... "The Mutoid's Tale" by Firerose: Mutoids are soulless, nearly mindless, and utterly lacking in free will or emotion, right? Well, maybe not... and pity the ones that aren't. I certainly felt deep sympathy for Firerose's mutoid protagonist, who has to constantly hide the scraps of humanity she's supposed to be lacking. There's probably a nice metaphor in here for the lot of the average Federation citizen, too, now that I think about it... "Relations" by Penny Dreadful answers the question of where mutoids come from, and it's an extremely well-thought out, well-presented, and disturbing answer. It also provides yet another answer to the question of Kiera's original identity, and a wonderfully fitting and ironic one, IMHO. And the characterization of pre-mutoid Kiera herself is wonderful; she strikes me as an ordinary and very sympathetic person, yet simultaneously as soulless and empty of compassion any mutoid. (There's a scene in here that may well qualify as the most chilling thing I've read recently, and all the more so because, from Kiera's viewpoint, it's viewed so utterly matter-of-factly.) Being a Penny Dreadful story, of course, it also features a great deal of Travis. "Chronicles" by Emma: Now here's a really nifty idea Mutoids are colloquially referred to as "vampires" for obvious reasons, but what if it's more than a metaphor? This is one of those terribly clever story premises that always leave me wishing I'd though it of myself, though I'm not at all sure I could have done nearly as good a job with it as Emma has! The zine also includes four drabbles (100-word stories) by Oliver Klosov, each of them as tight and punchy as only the short-short format can be. So, in sum: Lots of good stories here, with a very high quality of writing, and while all of them take the concept of mutoids as a springboard, they nevertheless end up covering a great deal of highly varied ground. Definitely recommended! -- Betty Ragan ** ragan(a)sdc.org ** http://www.sdc.org/~ragan/ Crichton: "I'm sick of having you sell us out every chance you get." Rygel: "I don't do it *every* chance." -- _Farscape_, demonstrating its fundamental difference from _Star Trek_

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RE: [B7L] Insults
by Nicola Mody-Nikoloff 06 Dec '01

06 Dec '01

Leia Fee wrote: > Was reading the Radio Times earlier and there was an article > about the best > TV putdowns and insults and I was most disappointed that not a > single one of > all those snitty remarks in B7 made it. So to console myself > here are my > favourites. What are everyone else's? Mine are: Vila to Blake: I don't follow you. Avon: Oh but you do! And that's the problem!! Vila, on being told to transport down: Me??! Now wait a minute, it's cold out there. I'm very susceptible to low temperatures. I've got a weak chest. Avon: The rest of you's not very impressive Vila: I've got this shocking pain right behind the eyes. Avon: Have you considered amputation? Blake: She [Cally] is an alien. Avon: She's more human than I am. Vila: That's not difficult. Bek: With what you [Vila] drank, you're lucky to remember who you are. Avon: I would hardly call that lucky. Dayna: Cheer up, Vila! You've got a lot of very bright associates! Vila: Oh yeah? Name six. Vila: Dayna, I'm stuck! Dayna: So am I, Vila - with you! Nico *** This e-mail is privileged and confidential. If you are not the intended recipient please delete the message and notify the sender. ***

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Insults
by Leia Fee 06 Dec '01

06 Dec '01

Was reading the Radio Times earlier and there was an article about the best TV putdowns and insults and I was most disapointed that not a singleone of all those snitty remarks in B7 made it. So to console myself here are my favourites. What are everyone elses? JENNA: I don't think he likes you, somehow. AVON: I think I may have to reprogram this machine. JENNA: That still won't make you likable. BLAKE: Vila, try and stay alert. VILA: Of course I will, how can you doubt me? BLAKE: It isn't easy, but somehow I manage it. BLAKE: Does it support any intelligent life? AVON: Does the Liberator? RENOR: Oh, a sense of humor, too. I love girls with a sense of humor. JENNA: Yes, I can see where that would be an advantage. This way, please. RENOR: Do you believe in love at first sight, Jenna? JENNA: Not yet. GAN: Can't find Orac. Even tried calling his name. AVON: Oh, I'm sorry I missed that. It's the kind of natural stupidity no amount of training could ever hope to match. JENNA: It's enough to fry your eyeballs. AVON: Daintily put. JENNA: It must be the company I keep. BERCOL: [of Servalan] She has all the sensitive delicacy of a plasma bolt. AVON: There are a quarter of a million volts running through that converter. I make one false move, I'll be so crisped up what's left of me won't fit into a sandwich. VILA: I'm a vegetarian. Thanks for the offer, though. TRAVIS: Don't you trust me? SERVALAN: No, of course not. VILA: I'll get you for this, Tarrant. I'll tear your arm off and beat you to death with the wet end. VILA: Avon's idea of diplomacy is like breaking someone's leg then saying, "Lean on me." Leia

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Vague Review of "I, Mutoid" (FRIVOLITY!)
by Penny Dreadful 06 Dec '01

06 Dec '01

PRESS DELETE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE OFFENDED. PRESS IT NOW! NOW! I'M WARNING YOU! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO PRESS DELETE, OR RISK BEING OFFENDED. Okay then. Emma said there had been no reviews of "I, Mutoid" so far, so I decided to write one, and hope it'll attract more customers than it repels. There may be spoilers herein (though not deliberate), so if you are planning on buying or reading this anyhow and don't like spoilers, then delete this review. Read the 'zine instead. Trust me, it'll be much more entertaining. Anyhow. As you are all probably painfully aware, I have long had an unhealthy fascination with mutoids. Perhaps it's the fact that they are manufactured vampires, thus allowing me to indulge my inner goth without neglecting my outer nerd. Or perhaps it's just that they're such snappy dressers, and get to hang out with Travis and Servalan and shoot stuff. Well, whatever the case, I've been anxiously awaiting the arrival of "I, Mutoid" for ages. And now here it is! Yay! And now I've read the whole thing. I won't discuss the specifics of individual stories, because while every one of the stories is well-written and worth reading in its own right, I think they become even more interesting when considered as a whole. It's fascinating to see a wide range of writing styles all focused on this specific and presumably relatively exotic topic. There are 85 pages of stories, by twelve different authors, ranging in length from Oliver Klosov's concise 100-word "drabbles" to 15 pages (that'd be windy ol' me), with most being around five to 12 pages long, and use a variety of voices, tenses, plots, characters... There are mutoids, ex-mutoids, mutoids-to-be. In some cases the mutoid is the narrator and/or main character, centre stage, while in others he/she/it barely (or never) appears onstage at all. There is nothing overtly humorous (I don't think--let's just say no overt humour of the sort I am able to comprehend). A few uneasy laughs, but overall the mood is pretty darn grim. And there's swearing and violence and sex, and you're supposed to be over 21 if you're going to buy it. Appearance-wise, it's about as minimal and utilitarian as possible. Plain font, no art, very few italics. But any lack of slick production values is more than made up for by the groovy black neoprene cover (sadly only available on the first...forty, Emma?...so get 'em while you can), which feels like a patch of the pelt of a cold-water surfer, and is, exactly as advertised, "warm and bendy". I'd definitely like to see more rubber-clad literature in future. -- "Don't you think secular humanism is yummy?"

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RE: Re: [B7L] orac and bringing down the federation
by jacquispeel＠netscape.net 06 Dec '01

06 Dec '01

Harriet Monkhouse <hflysator(a)jarriere.demon.co.uk> wrote: >Hullo Linda: >>I remember reading a story in a paper fanfic slash content which stated that >>Orac was programmed not do anything that would in anyway harm the >>federation >>since the origional aim was to sell him ( yes him inspite of my darling's >>insitence on "it")to the Federation, and that reprogramming him would not >>only be time consuming but dangerous to the programmer > >Ah, even I, despite my very limited reading, remember that one. Bryn >Lantry's Mutiny, in Forbidden Star. > >-- >Harriet But surely Orac 'has a mind of its own.' In the eponymous episode Orac has the opportunity of joining the Federation or the Liberator - and it can be seen as making a choice. Jacqui -- __________________________________________________________________ Your favorite stores, helpful shopping tools and great gift ideas. Experience the convenience of buying online with Shop@Netscape! http://shopnow.netscape.com/ Get your own FREE, personal Netscape Mail account today at http://webmail.netscape.com/

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RE: b7spin: yet another way to waste time ...
by Leia Fee 06 Dec '01

06 Dec '01

All hail Ronguor the Impaler. Get yer battle helmet and let's go plunderin'! Leia

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