An analysis by Jenny Kaye.
"Neil Faulkner" wrote
Now here's a man and a half.
This month seems to be getting more entertaining by the day.
I always try to entertain. You know that Neil.
Yesterday
afternoon Fiona Moore sent me an email saying:
<Hi Neil, I desperately, DESPERATELY need your help. What can I do?>
No she didn't. That was me.
followed by Wortham's original 'Word of warning' post, to which Moore appended no further comment.
Some hours later, even as I was drafting a reply (along the lines of
"What
the fuck do you expect *me* to do?"), she sent a follow up message thus:
<Ignore earlier panic. Jenny's got everything under control.>
That's true. That was me as well.
Moore has not responded to my reply to her original post.
As was presumably made clear by my accidental misposting last week,
Bad move, Faulkner, you've just made a big slip there. This posting wasn't accidental. He believed that Fiona and Jenny were the same people. They aren't. Faulkner was setting a trap.
I've been in offLyst contact with Moore.
Yes, for a while. But she was so sick of your juvenile bollocks, that she handed it over to me. Do you remember my line "you're looking in the wrong place." I was trying to sound you out. But what I discovered about you frightened the shit out of me.
I can only say that the witty and
insightful poster she was onLyst
That was Fiona. She'd like to hear that, if it weren't for the fact that you've tried to stab her in the back. Shall I forward this to her?
swiftly turned into an obnoxious snotty
little cow,
No she didn't Neil. That was me again. Not as clever as you pretend, are you? :-)
with a conversational style (handbags included) not unlike
someone else who is currently highly visible on Lysator.
The handbag is my motif. You're now working backwards Neil.
Furthermore, she used this personal correspondence to launch a stream of vitriolic invective at Lysator
That is something of a distortion.
and just about everyone on it,
That is a total lie. And I should know. I was writing all this shit.
slashers in
particular
It would be more accurate to say that I attacked the slash mentality. Which is aberrant.
but by no means them alone.
That is a lie. He is lying because that email I sent begging for help told him that she was an innocent little waif. As soon as he decided that she was weak he struck. What a vicious bastard. He hates Ashton Press, but he's accepted that situation. He's too independently minded to be brainwashed. But he knows what's going on, don't you Neil? And you don't care. He lost the ability to distinguish between good and evil years ago.
These tirades would seem to have at
least some foundation in the way poor fickle Shane (clueless wanker that
he
was)
That's telling as well.
was left to fight his tediously protracted scuffle against the
Wortham/Rosenthal bastards
I do like that line. Neil isn't a Slasher. He hates the stuff as well. But that's the only way he differs from these people.
with no one lifting a finger to help him.
Including you. Who sat back and watched the fun. You're doing this now because you hate Fiona and Annie equally. But you've made a big mistake fucker. I needed a lamb to entice out the wolves. And didn't they come running. I tagged them as well.
As for Shane, he was going about it all the wrong way. You do not use brute force to attack a force you do not understand. There was no way he could win. There are at least 16 slashers on here, some under multiple names, pathetically desperate to push their own "take" on the show. Shane was taking it too personally. He is gay. He saw Ashton Press's output as homophobic filth. It is. He was so offended that he went at them hammer and tongs. Bad move. When he started siding with Julia Jones of all people I knew he'd lost for sure. But I watched what happened and learned.
Shane, 'would seem, is a personal friend of Moore's.
As far as I am aware they are friends. Fiona was appalled at what happened to him. And then she met me.
The cavalier fannish
attitude to Terry Nation's (supposed) writing talent or
(counter-supposed)
lack of would also appear to have a lot to do with it.
Neil hates Terry Nation. I don't know why, but it runs very deep. Perhaps because he's been wasting his life trying to work out what Standard By Six means, and has been drawing a blank. Small-minded bastard.
I don't know if anyone else has been in offLyst contact with Moore
As far as I'm aware they haven't. And, for the most part, nor were you.
and has
anything similar to report.
They won't do. It was just you and me.
I won't trust anything "Jenny Kaye" says on
that matter.
That's interesting. It's suddenly occurred to this pseudo intellectual that I may rip the fucker to shreds. I've been doing it offlyst for the best part of three weeks now. I would just love the chance to do it onlyst, Neil.
Don't ask me exactly what the fuck's going on here, because I haven't a clue.
True. Clueless is one of your attributes.
But I have suspected for a couple of weeks now that Moore and Kaye
are working together,
Only in the loosest possible way. A pro keeps it simple. I wouldn't make a mistake like Fiona made. But she took what happened to Shane personally and wouldn't listen to me.
if indeed they are two separate people.
Wrong again Neil. She's a lamb. I'm a wolf. But I'm also a shepherd. I gave you a big enough clue. Jules Winnfield.
Animal camouflage don't count for squit when some cunt sets fire to the forest.
This forest is full of cunts like you unfortunately.
Fan the flames
Now we see the real Neil.
When animal camouflage breaks down. Something nasty comes out.
Jenny
_________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com.
Satisfying to come from work and find the trap was properly baited.
From: Jenny Kaye jennycat55@hotmail.com
An analysis by Jenny Kaye.
An analysis *of* Jenny Kaye would make far more interesting reading.
Yesterday
afternoon Fiona Moore sent me an email saying:
No she didn't. That was me.
How honourable of you to own up to that. Manipulating people offLyst to play your sordid little power games.
As was presumably made clear by my accidental misposting last week,
Bad move, Faulkner, you've just made a big slip there. This posting wasn't accidental. He believed that Fiona and Jenny were the same people. They aren't. Faulkner was setting a trap.
The slip is yours. That posting *was* an accident. There was no trap. I can't prove it, of course, but by the same token you can't prove anything to the contrary. You can't know. You're just guessing, and guessing wrongly as it happens. Your readiness to jump to such conclusions undermines the credibility of any other claim you care to make.
I've been in offLyst contact with Moore.
Yes, for a while. But she was so sick of your juvenile bollocks, that she handed it over to me. Do you remember my line "you're looking in the wrong place." I was trying to sound you out. But what I discovered about you frightened the shit out of me.
I find it incredible that I could frighten the shit out of anything braver than an abnormally timorous hamster. Quite what that makes you...
I can only say that the witty and
insightful poster she was onLyst
That was Fiona. She'd like to hear that, if it weren't for the fact that you've tried to stab her in the back. Shall I forward this to her?
Do so. Only point out that I was backstabbing the person who's been posting to me over the last few weeks. If that wasn't Fiona, as you claim, then I can't have been backstabbing her, can I? Unless you were using her as your shield. You don't exactly come out covered in the right stuff either way.
You might also remind her that when I first started talking to her offLyst I made her a promise. I have kept to that promise, though I've had ample opportunity to break it.
swiftly turned into an obnoxious snotty
little cow,
No she didn't Neil. That was me again. Not as clever as you pretend, are you? :-)
As a self-proclaimed crusader against 'evil', you exhibit a certain capacity for that which you claim to be crusading against.
The handbag is my motif. You're now working backwards Neil.
Don't waste my time with petty Rosenthal tactics.
Furthermore, she used this personal correspondence to launch a stream
of
vitriolic invective at Lysator
That is something of a distortion.
Debatable.
and just about everyone on it,
That is a total lie. And I should know. I was writing all this shit.
Very well. Maybe not everyone. Just those who are, in your own words 'emotionally damaged'.
slashers in
particular
It would be more accurate to say that I attacked the slash mentality.
Which
is aberrant.
Perhaps you could care to attach an IMO to that.
but by no means them alone.
That is a lie. He is lying because that email I sent begging for help told him that she was an innocent little waif.
It told me no such thing. I didn't know what to make of it, but 'innocent' was not the first word that sprang to mind.
I remain unconvinced that you are definitely not Fiona.
As soon as he decided that she was
weak he struck. What a vicious bastard.
I've never associated Fiona with weakness. But yes, I can be a vicious bastard. Do have a problem with that?
He hates Ashton Press, but he's
accepted that situation. He's too independently minded to be brainwashed. But he knows what's going on, don't you Neil?
Not really. Why don't you tell me?
And you don't care. He lost the ability to distinguish between good and evil years ago.
Inconsistency of personal pronouns aside, you're right in that I don't care. Why should I? Why should anyone? Why, especially, should you?
As for 'good' and 'evil', I've already said that I don't believe in such things. I mean that.
These tirades would seem to have at
least some foundation in the way poor fickle Shane (clueless wanker
that
he was)
That's telling as well.
Is it? And what does it tell you, Jenny? What does it say to your acutely perspicacious and analytical mind? Go on, put me on the couch. See if you can tell me something I don't already know.
was left to fight his tediously protracted scuffle against the
Wortham/Rosenthal bastards
I do like that line. Neil isn't a Slasher. He hates the stuff as well. But that's the only way he differs from these people.
I don't hate slash. I don't hate slashers. I do hate Wortham and Rosenthal but that's entirely personal. I don't make any secret of it, nor do I bang the drum at the drop of a hat. It has nothing to do with slash.
with no one lifting a finger to help him.
Including you. Who sat back and watched the fun. You're doing this now because you hate Fiona and Annie equally. But you've made a big mistake fucker. I needed a lamb to entice out the wolves. And didn't they come running. I tagged them as well.
But can you shoot straight?
As for Shane, he was going about it all the wrong way.
The cavalier fannish
attitude to Terry Nation's (supposed) writing talent or
(counter-supposed)
lack of would also appear to have a lot to do with it.
Neil hates Terry Nation.
No he doesn't. He simply doesn't admire him as deeply as you do. But then maybe failing to admire someone or something as deeply as you do is tantamount to hatred in your own distorted petty view of the world.
I don't know why, but it runs very deep. Perhaps
because he's been wasting his life trying to work out what Standard By Six means, and has been drawing a blank. Small-minded bastard.
I can be one of those too. Shabby little world, isn't it?
I won't trust anything "Jenny Kaye" says on
that matter.
That's interesting. It's suddenly occurred to this pseudo intellectual
that
I may rip the fucker to shreds. I've been doing it offlyst for the best part of three weeks now. I would just love the chance to do it onlyst, Neil.
Go on, then, 'Jenny'. Or should I say 'Fiona'? Or possibly even 'Alan'?
Don't ask me exactly what the fuck's going on here, because I haven't a clue.
True. Clueless is one of your attributes.
Not the worst, though.
if indeed they are two separate people.
Wrong again Neil. She's a lamb. I'm a wolf. But I'm also a shepherd. I
gave
you a big enough clue. Jules Winnfield.
Which means absolute fuck all to me. Not much of a clue, then, is it? Maybe you're not half as clever as you think you are.
Animal camouflage don't count for squit when some cunt sets fire to the forest.
This forest is full of cunts like you unfortunately.
Do you know any real insults?
Fan the flames
Now we see the real Neil.
There's never been any other kind.
When animal camouflage breaks down. Something nasty comes out.
So you have. Proof, if any were needed, that a bear really does shit in the woods.
Neil
At 09:40 AM 5/19/01 +0100, Neil Faulkner wrote:
I do hate Wortham and Rosenthal
This makes me feel a lot less guilty about admitting that I hate Neil Faulkner.
--Penny Dreadful -- "Nothin' to do in this f*ckin' town, just drink and drink and then fall down."
Penny commented to Neil:
I do hate Wortham and Rosenthal
This makes me feel a lot less guilty about admitting that I hate Neil Faulkner.
And I love you both! I want to marry you bigamously and have lots of babies which somehow mix your genes!
Great to see you back here, Penny!
Why isn't there a U in this...
I'm awfully sorry, but I nearly fell off my seat laughing at one of today's digests.
I'm really, really sorry for all the people who got hurt by this trollery, but I never thought I'd actually *be* in a scenario where the villain tore off his or her moustache and cried "Now, before I torture you to death with my excruciating machine, let me explain the details of my fiendish plan!"
Sadly, it was so fiendish that, sharing my beloved Jarriere's dim wits, I still can't see how it could possibly have achieved its purported aim.