I've been debating mentioning this for days. And as my conscience has been prickling all the while, I think I'm meant to say something.

Some of you may have read my post several days ago where I said we on the lyst are guilty of having double standards. I believe that very much to be true, and I believe I'm as guilty of it as anyone. It's natural to be more disturbed when a "stranger" is attacking a "friend." And it's natural to be more disturbed when you disagree with the point the attacker is making. I think both those reasons (and probably others as well) are why some tactless posts slip through and some are jumped on.

Wendy's comments were directed at words, and an outcry of distress rose from some members of the lyst in response. Such an outcry that even today it was mentioned again by a member who mentioned she was "disheartened" by Wendy's wording. A post was recently sent to the list that to my mind was far more disheartening than Wendy's, but not a single list member has spoken up. So here I am, championing yet another apparent underdog.

Neil wrote:

I have never called you a dickhead, I have never thought of you as a dickhead, and until now I've never even *wanted* to consider you a

dickhead,

but if you persist in making such an obvious fool of yourself in this infantile fashion you will leave me with no other choice.

I feel the use of "infantile" is inflammatory and insulting.

You have in the past proved to me, through your postings, your websites,

and

what fiction of yours I have read, that you are a person of intelligence, not to mention wit. All the more pity, then, that you seem to have degenerated into the kind of boorish lout that cannot tolerate anyone enjoying a conversation that he or she feels excluded from.

I don't think the first sentence is a justifiable excuse to call someone a "boorish lout."

I'm very disturbed by the tone of this post. There are far more tactful ways of making a point.

I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to say something. I'm especially sorry because I very much enjoy Penny and she's not posted a single thing to the lyst since then. Maybe because she was hurt by the words. Not everyone complains in public when they've been hurt. Or maybe because she was hurt that no spoke up in her defense. I hope she's still here to read this.

Carol Mc