Calle found the previously-mentioned lightbulb joke for me. You may now all feel entirely free to wish he hadn't. :)
How many B7 characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The answer seems to be at least eight...
BLAKE: "Don't you see, the lightbulb must be given the freedom to change itself. That's why we're fighting!"
AVON: "It's not my field."
VILA: "I would change it, you see, only I've pulled a muscle. You really ought to give me something for that, Cally, the pain is terrible! Plus, I'd have to stand on a chair, and I'm really not good with heights."
ZEN: "This unit is not permitted to interfere with lightbulb-changing activities."
GAN: "I'm trying to change it, but my limiter keeps kicking in. Probably some Federation technician's idea of a joke."
ORAC: "That task is far too trivial to be worth engaging my circuits. Besides which, if you hadn't noticed, I do not have any hands!"
CALLY: "There is an old Auron proverb: 'A man who refuses to change a lightbulb is not in the dark, merely unilluminated.'"
JENNA: "All right, I'll do it, if you'll all just SHUT UP!"
--- Betty Ragan ragan@sdc.org wrote: > Calle found the previously-mentioned lightbulb joke
for me. You may now all feel entirely free to wish he hadn't. :)
How many B7 characters does it take to change a
lightbulb?
The answer seems to be at least eight...
(Chuckle) I'm glad he did, Very clever :-)
I hope you don't mind if I add one of the later additions to the Liberator:
Dayna: But I like the ancient illuminating methods the oil lamp, the candle...they seem more real using them, there is more danger...
I tried but I can't think of one for Tarrant. However, I came up with one for Dorian:
A single lightbulb burns out too quickly, what we need is a chandelier, a chandelier can hold many bulbs, can
illuminate any setting for a much longer duration.
===== Cheryl. (My favourite 'Blake's 7' moment) What a fiasco! We could take over the ship you said, if I did my bit. Well, I did my bit, and what happened? Your 'troops' bumble around looking for someone to surrender to, and when they've succeeded, You, follow suit! (Avon to Blake. "Spacefall")
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--- Minnie minnie@picknowl.com.au wrote: > Cheryl wrote:
I tried but I can't think of one for Tarrant.
What about something like
Tarrant: Im going to charge in there and rescue that light bulb. Someone has to do it and its going to be me.
(chuckle) Tarrant lines are coming to me now, also how about:
No-one is going to change the bulb - if we're going to be in the dark, we'll all be in the dark together.
===== Cheryl. (My favourite 'Blake's 7' moment) What a fiasco! We could take over the ship you said, if I did my bit. Well, I did my bit, and what happened? Your 'troops' bumble around looking for someone to surrender to, and when they've succeeded, You, follow suit! (Avon to Blake. "Spacefall")
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Dunno if anyone's done this one, but it's obvious to me.
Orac: Changing a light bulb is a menial operation, and as such is far better suited to one such as yourself.
--- Minnie minnie@picknowl.com.au wrote:
Someone should do a B7 "why did the chicken cross the road?" or has that already been done?
I have no idea if it's already been done and I truly can't think up anything in this style but how about if each character was asked this line...
Blake: Why did the *what* cross the road? How on earth can I possibly be expected to know the answer to that? What has this got to do with the Federation anyway?
Avon: (fixing detector shield)...I imagine it would have to be ("link clamp") so that it could get
to the other side...Now, please leave me alone, so I can finish this, your incessant chatter only serves to disrupt my work.
Gan: I really couldn't answer that, why don't you let me go across and ask it - yes, I can do that - yes, I expect you to believe that...
Jenna: How would I know? Why ask me? Besides, I think that would depend on the chicken and on how well I knew it before I could even hazard a guess as to its motives.
Cally: Hmmm, I would say that it crossed the road simply because it was there...On Auron, we have a saying "He who asks why? can never be taken for a fool - only for a ride."
Vila: (chuckle)...I don't know. Why did the chicken cross the road? (listens to answer) AHAHAHAHAHA
Hey Orac, Tell me, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Orac: I really don't see what relevance a domestic fowl traversing... Vila: Just say you don't know Orac - it's a joke Orac: Oh, very well - I do not know. Why did the chicken cross the road? Vila: (chuckles) to get to the other side (laughs) Orac: Oh, I see, you asked a question with an obvious answer and when... Vila: Sigh! Go back to sleep Orac.
Zen: Would you like a visual representation of the stated occurrence? - I could search my memory banks...
Slave: It's beyond my humble capacities to think master - I would say that it just wanted to get to the other side.
Tarrant: I imagine it was helping a little old lady across the street...what did you say? stupid! that was not a stupid answer, look, as far as it goes, I've made a success of my life and you only have stupid chicken jokes - oh no, I
win, not only at jokes but at life.
Dayna: I imagine it saw me coming, chickens fear humans...me, most of all - I like the ancient dishes...chicken vindaloo, Kentucky fried, McNuggets...
Soolin: (licking her fingers) What chicken?
===== Cheryl. (My favourite 'Blake's 7' moment) What a fiasco! We could take over the ship you said, if I did my bit. Well, I did my bit, and what happened? Your 'troops' bumble around looking for someone to surrender to, and when they've succeeded, You, follow suit! (Avon to Blake. "Spacefall")
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Cheryl wrote:
Blake: Why did the *what* cross the road? How on earth can I possibly be expected to know the answer to that? What has this got to do with the Federation anyway?
I would have gone with something like : Blake: the chicken needed to be liberated from the yoke (no pun intended) of federation control. We must help the chicken and set it and all chicken kind free. :)
Vila: (chuckle)...I don't know. Why did the chicken cross the road? (listens to answer) AHAHAHAHAHA
Hey Orac, Tell me, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Orac: I really don't see what relevance a domestic fowl traversing... Vila: Just say you don't know Orac - it's a joke Orac: Oh, very well - I do not know. Why did the chicken cross the road? Vila: (chuckles) to get to the other side (laughs) Orac: Oh, I see, you asked a question with an obvious answer and when... Vila: Sigh! Go back to sleep Orac.
LOL!!!!!!!!!! either that or he might try and steal the chicken to see how much he could get for it :)
Tarrant: I imagine it was helping a little old lady across the street...what did you say? stupid! that was not a stupid answer, look, as far as it goes, I've made a success of my life and you only have stupid chicken jokes - oh no, I win, not only at jokes but at life.
LOLOL!!!!!!!
Dayna: I imagine it saw me coming, chickens fear humans...me, most of all - I like the ancient dishes...chicken vindaloo, Kentucky fried, McNuggets...
Soolin: (licking her fingers) What chicken?
These two had me in fits. Well done Cheryl. These were great. Better than what I could do ;)
Min.xxx
Cheryl wrote:
I hope you don't mind if I add one of the later additions to the Liberator:
Dayna: But I like the ancient illuminating methods the oil lamp, the candle...they seem more real using them, there is more danger...
I *like* this one! Can't think of any for Tarrant, though. Best I can come up with is Soolin: "But shooting things in the dark is more of a challenge!"
For Trial: How many revolutionary leaders facing terrible self- doubt after loss of a beloved comrade does it take to change a lightbulb? None, a revolutionary leader facing terrible self- doubt after loss of a beloved comrade can sit in the dark.
-(Y)
Betty Ragan wrote:
Calle found the previously-mentioned lightbulb joke for me. You may now all feel entirely free to wish he hadn't. :)
A great joke, Betty, but someone is still missing:
SLAVE: "I'm sorry, but changing a light bulb is beyond my humble capacities, Master."
Mistral