Sally had lots of wonderful ideas, and a few duff ones:
Anywhere at all after The Way Back ... bring back Dev Tarrant.
Make Dev and Del the same person.
The Web
...
Expand the Cally-being-taken-over story to expound on Avon & Jenna's ideas about pitching *her*.
Hear hear! It's her second episode, only the first time she's ever been taken over, and a perfectly good storyline about how on earth they're going to trust her again even if they don't dump her peters out with "Oh, she's OK again now." Lots of scope for Cally/Jenna interaction. Er, maybe other list.
SLD - more Bercol and Rontane, please.
Repeat for any given episode.
Trial - see SLD.
Ditto.
Killer - deal with the fact that Our Heroes didn't catch the bug. Let Dr Bellfriar /Gambrill/Tynus/even Dr Wiler survive and join Our Heroes (lovely set of guests this one has).
Gosh, I must go back and look at Dr Wiler. And Julia, about that story again...
Voice - make the storyline make sense, cut it down and show what happened afterwards. Substitute Alta Morag for Ven Glyn.
Ooh yes. I may be one of the few Voices for the Past, but this is the single thing that would make it even better. That and Bercol and Rontane.
After Star One - have Zen's search-and-rescue program (aka 'let's turn me into a dumping ground for stray waifs') go a bit skewed, so instead of listening to Orac and picking up Our Heroes, he collects a brand-new seven fleeing from Freedom City (which got dented by a passing Andromedan fruit juicer) - Krantor and Toise, the Klute, Chenie, Jarriere, a paratrooper in a nun's habit (wrong fandom?) and one of those Sheiks of Arabeee ...
And Garak. And someone being played by Alan Rickman. (Privately, I am totally overcome at the subtlety in which you managed to sneak in the really key bit here...)
Alternately, Powerplay - bring Fearless Leader back (yes, yes, what do you expect from moi? This is a *fantasy* edit,
Suits my fantasy.
Have the new President cut up for spare parts, just for fun
No, no! But you could give Calle his fantasy and have the Chengans start cutting her clothes off her before she's rescued...
The Harvest of Kairos - kill Jarvik fifty minutes earlier.
Penny's done that. Hang on - I have another idea. Get Penny to write the script instead of Ben Steed.
Rumours of Death - hire someone else to play Anna
NO!!!
Death-Watch - someone speak *severely* to Zen about the clothes he/it's doling out at this stage. Keep Deeta.
Or have Deeta turn out to be Dev (assuming Del wasn't him).
Power - shoot Ben Steed.
And hire Penny again. By the way, hitwoman, BS is your next target...
Stardrive - pretend it never happened.
But keep Vila being clever while pretending to be drunk. Just attach it to something more interesting, preferably involving Bercol, Rontane, Alta Morag, Dev Tarrant or Jarriere...
Assassin
...
Kill Piri just before we meet her and make Neebrox the assassin instead.
Penny's killed her too. Neebrox is a brilliant idea, but why not substitute our very own hitwoman at this point?
Sand
...
Let the sand bury the pair of them. OTOH, let's hear more of Orac's rhapsodising ...
Have Orac fall in love with Servalan.
Blake
Stop PD overacting in the final scene.
Bother, I'm supposed to be working today...
Harriet
At 07:00 AM 1/30/01 -0500, Harriet Monkhouse invoked my name three times and so I did appear before her in the mirror:
The Harvest of Kairos - kill Jarvik fifty minutes earlier.
Penny's done that. Hang on - I have another idea. Get Penny to write the script instead of Ben Steed.
"The Harvest of Kairos" by Penny Dreadful
*** [SCENE: a pursuit ship]
SERVALAN: I'll get you, Avon, and your little dogs, too!
JARVIK: Step aside, girlie, and watch how a *man* does it. [elbows Servalan aside]
[FX: big gun noise]
JARVIK: Urk! [falls down dead]
TRAVIS [stepping out of shadows]: What a weenie.
SERVALAN: Travis! Weren't you last seen plunging to your death down a bottomless Jungian archetype?
TRAVIS: Turns out it was just a cheap special effect, and also it had a trampoline at the bottom. So how's the hunt for Blake been progressing in my absence?
SERVALAN: Blake, shmake. I'm going after Avon now.
TRAVIS: *Blake, shmake*? Are you out of your tree? He could be out there somewhere fomenting revolution six ways from Sunday, whereas Avon, if you didn't keep chasing him, would probably be perfectly happy sitting in the middle of nowhere in his fancy spaceship, frolicking in a big pile of credits and tacky jewellery.
SERVALAN: It seemed to make sense at the time...
TRAVIS: Oh, go take a cold shower.
***
[Meanwhile, back on the Liberator...]
AVON: Yawn.
TARRANT: Dum-dee-dum.
DAYNA: Ho-hum.
CALLY: Who's up for Yahtzee?
VILA: Hey Orac, guess how many obsolete graphite writing utensils I can stick up my nose at the same time?
AVON: Well, I'm off to frolick in my big pile of money some more.
[Roll Credits] ***
Power - shoot Ben Steed.
And hire Penny again. By the way, hitwoman, BS is your next target...
Unfortunately as an imaginary assassin I can only kill imaginary people, so you will first have to present me proof that Ben Steed is an imaginary person.
Assassin
...
Kill Piri just before we meet her and make Neebrox the assassin instead.
Penny's killed her too. Neebrox is a brilliant idea, but why not substitute our very own hitwoman at this point?
Codename: Penguin.
-- "This is the kind of conversation that can only end in a gunshot."
In message 200101300700_MC2-C390-4A76@compuserve.com, Harriet Monkhouse 101637.2064@compuserve.com writes
Killer - deal with the fact that Our Heroes didn't catch the bug. Let Dr Bellfriar /Gambrill/Tynus/even Dr Wiler survive and join Our Heroes (lovely set of guests this one has).
Gosh, I must go back and look at Dr Wiler. And Julia, about that story again...
I am not writing adult fic on my parents' computer. Especially that sort of adult fic. I do not even have a copy of my story directory with me. You'll all have to wait until I have a computer of my own again...