On Sat, 06 Oct 2001 16:44:16 -0400 jacquispeel@netscape.net writes:

As my recent 'compare and contrast' question was read in a different (& amusing) way to that which I presented it - any other 'role reversals' on offer?

How about Jarriere instead of Shrinker?

Jarriere enters

Jarriere: They tell me you haven't been cooperating [pulls out small, pen sized device]

Avon: No, I haven't [eyes device]. Let me guess, that's a small laser probe. You're going to threaten to burn my eyes out if I don't tell you what I want to know.

Jarriere: What, this? It's my emergency flashlight. I don't know if you've noticed, but the lighting is terrible in here.

Avon: And you like to see your victim's face clearly?

Jarriere: No, I like to be able to read from this little book, here. You see, I'm the morale officer. They send me in when people are feeling down. A happy prisoner is a cooperative prisoner, that's my motto.

Avon [beginning to look worried]: I'm not sure I understand.

Jarriere: Oh, it's simple, really. We can just chat. For example, you look like an intelligent fellow. You can explain any basic scientific concepts you want to, and I'll try to follow along. Although I warn you, you may need to explain them several times. Even dozens. I'm still trying to understand this one about motion, for example. I've got the part about 'every action' but I'm still trying to make sense of this 'equal and opposite reaction' part. How equal are they? Did the Ratings Testing Center know about this? And opposite to what? And how can opposite be equal? I mean, a Delta's the opposite of an Alpha, and they're not equal, are they? And how can a reaction be opposite? Isn't that redundant? Or is that a double negative? Then it would just mean that for every action there's another action just like it happening the same way, and we know that isn't the way it works. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but Servalan would shoot anyone who tried to do things just like her. Have you noticed she never wears the same dress twice?

Avon [beginning to look panicked at all this cheery chatter and trying to change the subject]: What did you say that book was?

Jarriere: This? It's an epic work of poetry I've been translating - I'm a linguistic genius, don't you know - Here, let me read you some.

"There was a young sailor from Ithaca Who found leaving Troy was quite trickia He sailed for ten years In very slow gears Till his whining made Olympus quite sickia.

"Let me read you the next three thousand verses-

Avon: AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!

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