Betty and Annie:
(Gawd, I hope at least some of that makes sense. It's *really* difficult to put this stuff into words.)
I think you did great, Betty. I also think you've hit the nail squarely on the head.
I agree, though I'd posit that some people can cheerfully function using either approach and can be interested in the results of discussions using either approach.
And Annie:
...the conflict(s) are coming in (imo) when people who look at it via Approach #1 continue to insist that folks who prefer Approach #2 comply with *their* methods. Although I don't mind being asked to participate in Approach #1, if my response is "I'm not interested" I don't expect to be belittled, told I'm copping out, told I don't have "proof" and various and sundry other insulting things.
Tolerance seems to be a useful word here.
Tavia