who you want to be. You are also what others expect of you. An amusing example that happened to me IRL: I was working on a nature reserve with one other warden, who happened to be female. A local farmer had kindly offered the local wildlife trust an old caravan to accomodate us poor shivering wardens, but needed help getting it to the reserve. A wheel needed changing, and the thing had to be tied up to the land rover for towing. Out of the two of us, he chose me to help him. His mistake. If he'd chosen the woman, she'd have pitched in eagerly and made herself useful. All I could do was stand there and watch, because I didn't have a clue what to do. Not that I minded, because I was being paid by the hour, and punching a hole in his chauvinistic thinking was satisfying in its own right.